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W.I.T.C.H. season 1 episode 3 "The Key" transcript
Character Dialogue
Lord Cedric Prince Phobos, when the rebel leader Caleb escaped, we found these.
Raythor Either he picked the lock, or he was given the only key, which is now suspiciously missing.
Vathek Let's see how eternity in the oubliette suits you, traitor.
Raythor He obviously helped the rebel. He's a traitor!
Vathek No! I must have lost the key in the battle.
Raythor How convenient.
Prince Phobos If Vathek is telling the truth, the key is still here. Search the castle.
Vathek [gasps]
Lord Cedric I hope for your sake, Vathek, that the key is quickly found.
[bird song]
Hay Lin Oh, don't be such a grumpy-puss. You look really cool.
Caleb I've lived in tents smaller than this. Why am I wearing enough clothes for a 400-pound clown?
Hay Lin You're stylin'. Remember, you have to blend in here.
Caleb I'm not supposed to be blending in here, I'm supposed to be battling Phobos in Meridian. And finding the rightful heir to the throne, who's somewhere in your ridiculously-dressed world.
Yan Lin Ooh, Caleb. You are one major chunk.
Hay Lin Um, it's "hunk", Grandma. But wait till you see him in his golf outfit.
Caleb Can't command a rebellion dressed like a parachute. Ow!
Hay Lin Ooh, sorry. Was that your knee?
Yan Lin Uh, where is your little Meridian friend?
Caleb His name is Blunk, and he's not my friend. And you can be sure that wherever he is, he's up to no good.
Blunk Brilliant. Fruit. Delicacy. Yes. And magic box of string. See? String never stop.
I've no money, but my sister works in the castle and I have some valuable information.
Blunk Trade for attractive earplugs?
Er, I'd rather have the hat.
Hey, dude. 360 fakey ollie.
Caleb [gasps] You!
Blunk Fruit?
Caleb How did you know I was here?
Blunk Blunk know lots. Blunk know big secret. Sell Caleb secret. Huff, huff. OK. Secret free. Vathek in trouble. Missing key. Big trouble!
Caleb The manacle key? That's impossible. He put it in the hiding place like we agreed so Vathek could recover it after I left.
Blunk [window creaking] Heh, not missing now. Finder fee?
Caleb You took the key?
Blunk OK. Bad decision.
Caleb Vathek saved my life. If I don't return this, he's a goner.
[bird song]
Taranee Cook I wish I was at home. It'd be warmer and not bat-infested.
Hay Lin I'm starving. I wish I had a big, sugary donut.
Taranee Cook [shivering] Bats are more afraid of us than we are of them. Right?
Cornelia Hale In your case, Taranee, I think it may be a toss-up.
Will Vandom Enough about bats and donuts. It's time for magic practice. Are you guys ready to jam?
Hay Lin Jam donuts!
Will Vandom Shush! Guardians unite.
Irma Lair Water.
Taranee Cook Fire.
Cornelia Hale Earth.
Hay Lin Air. Woo-hoo!
Irma Lair Show-off. Oh, yeah? Well, top this. I give you... ...Cornelia.
Cornelia Hale Thanks for the nose.
Irma Lair Cornelia, with a broken nose. Thank you. Thank you very much.
Taranee Cook Ew! Crabs!
Will Vandom Well, that went well. Don't you think?
Cornelia Hale At least the crabs scared the bats away.
Taranee Cook Ooh, ooh. I feel something down the back of my neck.
Will Vandom Um, you promise not to freak if I tell you what it is?
Taranee Cook Uh, uh.
Will Vandom Then it's just a hair.
Hay Lin [gasps] You guys have got to come in and see Caleb's new outfit. I made this really cute retro aviator fifties thing and I think if you four hold him down then...
Yan Lin Girls! I have some terrible news.
Hay Lin That eel down Taranee's neck was poisonous?
Taranee Cook What eel?
Yan Lin Caleb is gone. I'm afraid he may have returned to Meridian.
Will Vandom [sniffing] What's that smell?
[flies buzzing]
Irma Lair The last time I smelled that my french fries went missing.
[all] Blunk.
Will Vandom Why would he come here? Caleb doesn't even like him.
Taranee Cook Hey, nobody likes him. But he's gotta go somewhere.
Irma Lair I think I know where to find the little troll. Uh, we'll need to be magic pixies again. Sorry, Guardians.
Taranee Cook I was kinda hoping we wouldn't have to do this again tonight.
Irma Lair Forget about it. Where we're going there are no bats, no eels, no crabs.
[rats squeaking]
Taranee Cook Exactly what have you guys got against dry, well lit places?
Blunk Woo-hoo! Treasures. Oh, yes, yes!
Will Vandom Light please.
Blunk Guardians.
Hay Lin [gasps] What is he wearing?
Blunk Oh, sweet. Blunt styling. No, no! Portal secret.
Will Vandom You showed Caleb where it was.
Blunk He pay. Tight threads.
Irma Lair How do you know where the portals are anyway?
Blunk Blunk always know. Blunk a Passling. Passlings can smell.
Taranee Cook Eugh! Boy, is that an understatement?
Blunk Smelling portals good for smuggler, yes? If Blunk show. Close! Close!
Will Vandom We have to close it or evil oozes through.
Irma Lair It's like putting the cap on the toothpaste. What am I saying? You obviously never used toothpaste in your life.
Hay Lin I can't believe you're wearing those clothes.
Blunk Blunk got it goin' on.
Hay Lin Oh, no. Blunk got it comin' off. I need those for Caleb. If I find him, he's going to wish Phobos found him first.
Blunk [screams]
Taranee Cook Great. Bat caves, rat-infested alley and now sewer diving. [grunts]
Cornelia Hale Why is it always dark here?
Irma Lair Different time zones. Evil's five hours ahead of us.
Hay Lin The little green rat is going that way. Hey! That's 4/5 silk. Quit dragging the sleeves!
Will Vandom Speaking of clothes, the wings are kinda obvious, don't you think?
Irma Lair I think we need some kind of disguise.
Caleb [gasps] Aldarn, you gave me a heck of a scare.
Aldarn Sorry, Caleb. Been out looking for you everywhere.
Aldarn I'd heard you'd gone through the Veil. What's it like?
Caleb The teenagers stand on little boards with wheels and do 360 fakey ollies. Oh yeah, and they say "like" in the middle of sentences for no reason.
Aldarn Sounds... ...good.
Raythor In two hours, if the key's not found, I'll have your job. And you'll have a one-way trip to The Abyss Of Shadows. [cackles]
Gah! No money, no cloaks.
Blunk Candy on string. Trade?
No trades. I already got stuck today with a cartload of wet firewood I can't burn.
Will Vandom Hmm. Will you give us the cloaks if we dry it out for you?
What are you? The sun? I also have some wet laundry.
Caleb There's something I need to return to the castle.
Aldarn Uh, uh. Impossible. You need the Guardians of the Veil to get inside there.
Caleb What are you doing here?
Hay Lin Never mind that. Why aren't you wearing these clothes?
Aldarn Hi. My name is, like, Aldarn. Would you like to, like, do a 360 fakey ollie with me, some time?
Cornelia Hale What?
Caleb I don't want you here. I can take care of myself. I wouldn't even be here if he hadn't stolen this key.
Irma Lair Wait. You're telling us this is all the stink-monkey's fault?
Caleb Well, duh.
Aldarn Duh? Your speech has, like, changed, Caleb.
Caleb And why were you running?
Taranee Cook We were kinda running from him.
Castle Guard Hey! Get back here.
Aldarn Caleb, run!
Caleb Um, officer? Uh, what size shoe do you wear?
Castle Guard You. Where are your papers? Guardians.
Caleb Hay for Prince Phobos's horses.
[horse neighing]
Raythor The key has not been found, but you knew that didn't you? It's time, traitor.
Will Vandom This place gives me the creeps. Just hide the key and let's get out without being noticed.
Caleb Oh yeah. That's going to be real easy with five girls tagging along.
Will Vandom Hey! We are not tagging along, Mr Brave Hero.
Caleb Shh! Why didn't I just bring a sack full of screaming cats?
Cornelia Hale Eugh! These things are itchy.
Irma Lair Uh, is this small, blood-sucking insect what I think it is?
Will Vandom Don't say anything. Or they'll hear Taranee screaming back at school.
Cornelia Hale You know, I just hope this is wool or linen. I don't know what it is about synthetic fibres, but they give me such a...
Irma Lair Get your cloaks off.
Castle Guard [roars]
Hay Lin Sorry!
Cornelia Hale I can do flower pots. No, let's try the table. [laughing]
Will Vandom Ooh! Whoa!
Castle Guard Looks like we're gonna have to clip those wings.
Cornelia Hale Table for one?
Will Vandom Irma, Hay Lin, let's wrap this up.
Hay Lin Oh, guardcicles!
Will Vandom OK. We've bought ourselves about ten minutes.
Caleb [panting] This way, quick!
Raythor They say you fall forever. Of course, we'll never know. But you will. Say hello to the other conspirators for me.
Will Vandom Actually, you can do that yourself.
Raythor Aargh!
Taranee Cook You are sleepy. Not to mention ugly.
Lurden [snoring]
Taranee Cook Night, night Whatever you are.
Vathek Caleb!
Caleb Easy! Easy! My good friend Vathek. These are the Guardians of the Veil.
[all] Hi!
Vathek Hello.
Hay Lin You sure don't look like a good guy.
Vathek Uh, thank you?
Caleb I brought the key.
Vathek Ah, too late. They searched everywhere. They know it's not here. It's sudden reappearance can do me no good now.
Will Vandom Or maybe it can. I have an idea. Call out an alarm.
Vathek What?
Will Vandom Scream for help, you know, "Guardians in the castle!" The key.
Vathek Guardians! Guardians! Help!
Will Vandom Lie down and don't move.
Lord Cedric Seize them!
[roaring] [coughing]
Lord Cedric Search the tunnels!
Raythor Oh, we were taken by surprise. Must have come to save his traitor.
Lord Cedric Then why did they leave him? And why did he call the alarm?
Raythor No! I... I didn't!
Lord Cedric Take him to Phobos. All right. Back to your post.
Will Vandom Poor Taranee. Bats, crabs, rats and now fleas.
Irma Lair Where did Hay Lin go?
Hay Lin At first, I wasn't sure how it would look with your skin tone. But I was right. You're much more of a spring than an autumn.
Caleb He looks like an overgrown raisin.
Blunk Nah. Caleb jealous. Blunk the bomb!
[rock 'n' roll music sounds]
Blunk Ha! Ha! Ha!
Hay Lin You go, Blunk!
Yan Lin Hey! Shall we get down, lover boy?
Caleb I thought all earthlings were strange, but I'm beginning to think it's just the females.